July 10th, 2005 (3:32am PST) - "Mom, I know its late..really late there, because it is late here. You know how you gave me your credit card in case of emergencies? Well, Chris, Mike, and I are stuck in Tijuana, Mexico and we spend all of our money to get home. How do I get cash back from your credit card?"
Response: "Ryan, you have to be kidding me."
October 30th, 2008 (10:32pm EST) - "Hey mom, I fucked up. My Audi is up against a Bank of America ATM machine wall, and I do not know what to do."
Response: "Call you father" followed by an ominous click
Two very valid responses for two calls that a mother should never have to receive from her son. Oh, the joys of parenting with regards to slow growth through elongated adolescence. Through thick and thin, I know my mother is proud of me, regardless of my many shortcomings. This however is not a day about me, and my moronic approaches to socialization across the US. No, this is a day to celebrate our mothers. The mothers who take these four am collect calls, who drove us to school, who packed out lunches, taught us to cook, iron, read, and to love.
Truthfully without my mother: I would see my life going something like this... 5 year graduate with a degree in plant science from Northwest Connecticut Community College. Driving around in a 1990 Ford Taurus listening to Hatebreed. Getting ready for their fantastic comeback tour, while sipping monster energy drink simultaneously smoking a menthol pall mall and blowing the smoke out of my roll down windows in Route 8. No girlfriend, no real friends, except a pet rabbit who's only contribution to the world is an unfathomable amount of bullet shits left on the basin of a "should be quarantined" kennel. Waiting for something to show up and happen, not fighting for my dreams, and never really creating them.
Mom - You have helped me grow into the man I am today. I am successful, I try to be as honest as I can most of the time. I love people, they love me. I sing, I write, I dance, I play...I cry. I love my sister and I would do anything possible for my family. I earn a good living, but always want more - never settle for just "okay." I have dreams, I have hopes, and in these dreams you are there for many many years. I make mistakes, and I learn from them, for the most part. I am a son.
I hope that you take some time today to put down that lousy 50 Shades of Grey book, if you finally decided to purchase it and just think. Think about all the amazing things you have done. It wont take long. Look at your two children who are now living together in Boston, successfully. Without you, they would not be where they are, they simply would not have made it this far. And, as you sit back with this pleasant thought in mind, remember all the good times we shared together, when we cannot be with one another, these beautiful memories will help us get through until the next time.
I love you.
Ryan
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