I watched you walk away today with the most cumbrous of hearts. The kitchen was clean just like the closets of every last piece that once called this 680 sq ft home. Desolation drenched in delusions of grandeur that we could make it through, that I could change the person that I have a become. It's not a monster dipped in malice but a malicious mind overpowering an off-beating heart longing for love.
Wish I could temper my emotions, find calm in being alone - a result that only I propagated. Looking across the wooden floorboards hopeful to abate the stalemate battle between me crying and walking the streets with lightness. Standing flightless, and feckless. "You did this mate, get off the sorrow bench and pull the rope from around your neck." The coarse knots pull at the skin that once held a man together, beautiful and strong. And now, you ask the twine to rip the life from everyone it knows. "Selfish fuck, don't look up to the sky asking how to recover." Don't tip the bottle back like all the times before. As the morning dew settles the whiskey hits your lungs with no calm, only igniting the hunt for the liquor, thicker than the clotted blood in your veins. Losing battle grounds created by lies like betrayed King Henry's Court driving France to burn.
Enter the chapter of another disaster if I continue on this path. Look back and laugh if I can surpass.
Crippling you and stealing days of breath is all that I can recall. Turning into what I always thought I would using a flaw as a cute, helpless hook to draw people in. Its not cute, its not fun, its hurtful and drawing Dorian Grey over and over again doesn't make the paint not crumble.
"It may rain, it may not...but if it does rain how much will you allow that to impact your life...thats anxiety, its a fear and if you let the fear win you will always fight against it and lose...moreover you will forget to live."
Look back at this and laugh...if not laugh smile because tomorrows not promised, only offered.
Wish I could temper my emotions, find calm in being alone - a result that only I propagated. Looking across the wooden floorboards hopeful to abate the stalemate battle between me crying and walking the streets with lightness. Standing flightless, and feckless. "You did this mate, get off the sorrow bench and pull the rope from around your neck." The coarse knots pull at the skin that once held a man together, beautiful and strong. And now, you ask the twine to rip the life from everyone it knows. "Selfish fuck, don't look up to the sky asking how to recover." Don't tip the bottle back like all the times before. As the morning dew settles the whiskey hits your lungs with no calm, only igniting the hunt for the liquor, thicker than the clotted blood in your veins. Losing battle grounds created by lies like betrayed King Henry's Court driving France to burn.
Enter the chapter of another disaster if I continue on this path. Look back and laugh if I can surpass.
Crippling you and stealing days of breath is all that I can recall. Turning into what I always thought I would using a flaw as a cute, helpless hook to draw people in. Its not cute, its not fun, its hurtful and drawing Dorian Grey over and over again doesn't make the paint not crumble.
"It may rain, it may not...but if it does rain how much will you allow that to impact your life...thats anxiety, its a fear and if you let the fear win you will always fight against it and lose...moreover you will forget to live."
Look back at this and laugh...if not laugh smile because tomorrows not promised, only offered.
