Friday, February 17, 2012

Friday, February 17 2012 - A couple things to rant about

I usually digress from straight ranting about happenings in my life. Mostly because I fear people just will not care, and secondly because there is very little I can do in the way of changing the act, event, or person. That being said, I am going to rant about two things this afternoon.

1. The eloquent use of curse words.

While walking the .7 miles I do every morning to reach one of two fairly clean, but boisterous buses I take to work, I passed two young men having a discussion. Unfortunately I was not tailing them and only a passerby, so I have no foreword to this comment that came from gentlemen one.

"That shit is true as fuck!"

Now, any upstanding citizen who is even a novice at the English language would take this to mean; that(unknown noun or identity) fecal matter is correct and/or accurate as two people fornicating or engaging in the act of coitus. While I would like to go crazy hearing this, I guess all I can really conclude from this comment is that a) whatever he was referring to was sincerely and passionately correct, and hopefully not a virgin b) the young mans vocabulary is dominated by the curse word section of the dictionary c) he does not care what anyone thinks about his conversation, other than the one other man listening.

I am not completely innocent here and have probably contributed to the death of the English language similarly to the way these two fun-loving, want-to-be-gangster studs did. Not saying its right, and we should make an effort to correct these corruptions on speech, regardless of how free we have made it.


2. Grocery Self-Checkout Incompetence

I had the pleasure of waiting 22 minutes in a self checkout line to purchase my groceries last night, a checkout option that is supposed to expedite the shopping process. I usually avoid this option merely because I like to have some social interaction and try not to encourage the fact that we are swiftly moving to an age where everything is run by robots.

My point is simple. If you are unfamiliar with the self-checkout system a) do no use it during a high volume shopping time, and b) ask questions. There really should be a sign that says if you have not used a self checkout before, please do not attempt to do so between the hours of X and X. There is not however, and everyone has access to this regardless of time, line length, or incompetence.

Last night, I stood in line waiting for one of the four machines to become available. I was only buying coffee and airborne. I waited 22 minutes as only one machine was available. Of the other three machines, one was broken, and the other two were occupied by two complete and utter morons. I witnessed exhibit 1.01. attempt to weigh his red bell peppers eleven times. Not only did he not set it on the scale properly, but red bell pepper are not even charged by weight, they are by quantity. I was shocked that by try 10 he still did not ask for assistance, just kept going. Wailing away. The only good thing about this story is that he actually gave up, took his groceries with him, and did not pay for them. Perfect.

Exhibit 1.02 was a horse of a different color. She was able to scan and package all 6 of her items, which was basically only boxes of microwave dinosaur oatmeal, but struggled with the payment portion. It took her three tries to get to the part where she slides her maxed out credit card, then realized she does not know the PIN number. Guess it was not a credit card, moron. She tried it 7 times. The women who works there finally intervenes and asks to help. At this point she says she is going to try again and the employee states that after 3 tries your card is void and the order is canceled. This means that this catastrophe could have ended 4 tries ago, or 16 minutes (whichever you prefer).

All of this kept me from making my 8pm french press coffee and chasing it with an effervescent beverage of dissolved airborne. Thus keeping me from boosting my immune system to be able to handle the disease and stupidity roaming around the grocery store.

Rant.

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